The truth about sexual abuse

Reblogged from Busy Mom of Three:

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http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1446666/pdf/11344883.pdf

When you watch the news, do you notice how much of it is about crimes against children? I have and it sickens me to think that despite all the laws in place, children are still being targeted and abused daily. Something has to change, CSA (child sexual abuse) is a serious problem not just in the States but all over the world.

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This is a serious issue that is rampant in our society. The United States gives money and resources to aid all manner of causes around the world, but atrocities such as this continue to happen in our back yards. As parents we should be vigilant for signs of abuse that may occur around us so we can speak up for the children who feel they have no voice. As fathers we have a responsibility to teach children to recognize appropriate and inappropriate behavior and to respond accordingly. Always keep your eyes and ears open for signs of abuse. Don't be so quick to dismiss the complaints of children. There may be a reason that they are uncomfortable around a certain person. Obviously, the closer you are to your child and the more accepting you are of them, then the more open they will be with you. Furthermore, if you have experienced abuse as a child please seek to understand how it has affected you so that you make break free of the chains of abuse. This may require some counseling, which is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with doing what you need to do in order to be a better, more complete person.

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Tragedy in Aurora, CO: A Paternal Response

            I wish that I could discuss something positive for my first news post, but that just is not the case. In fact, I delayed writing about this situation with the hope that a positive story would emerge so I could write about that first. Since that has not happened, I will discuss the tragic massacre that occurred in Aurora, CO this past Friday morning.

            First of all, my thoughts and prayers go out to those who were affected by this senseless act. Especially the 12 families who have lost a loved one at the hands of James Holmes. This tragedy highlights the pervasive lack of respect for life and people that exists throughout our society. Everyday there are murders and physical attacks that do not make national news. There are abortions, rapes and robberies that often go unreported or unsolved. Bullying is rampant in schools and neighborhoods. This senseless rampage in Colorado is the latest shock to the American conscience. As the families in Aurora, CO seek to pick up the shattered pieces of their lives and begin the rest of their permanently altered lives, the rest of us have some clear obligations. We must pray for the quick recovery of the living victims and the emotional strength for the families of the fallen. We should pray that such an act does not occur again. We must also take this time in the wake of the tragedy to examine the state of our society. Where do our values stand? Where are our morals? How do we prevent such an event from happening in the future? These questions must be addressed despite the difficulty of finding the answers.

            There is a particular issue surrounding the event that I want to address before moving forward. One young couple was criticized for taking their four month old child to the midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” when they found themselves amid a scene from a horror movie. Here’s the thing. As parents we know that we all need a break from time to time. We can’t always afford a babysitter or find a qualified babysitter for a time that is convenient for us. This young couple merely wanted to enjoy a brief, but fun moment together while their child slept harmlessly with them. I find no fault with their decision to go have some quality time together. I do take issue with those people who want to blame this tragedy on anyone or anything other than James Holmes. Let’s face it. There probably is no form of predictive analysis that could have foretold of this event. Certainly there were indicators that Holmes held some violent intentions, but the target and the motive could not have been reasonably determined by current intelligence methods. Okay, technical stuff aside, no one reasonably expects that a movie theater would be the scene of a massacre. Instead, we expect to find crowds of fun-seeking, possibly irritating, moviegoers who are out to have a good time. None of the victims should be assigned any portion of blame for possessing that expectation.

            Now, I will get to my point. As fathers we play a vital role in how our society behaves. (Disclaimer: I AM IN NO WAY BLAMING HOLMES’S PARENTS! That is not the goal of this post.) WE must do our best to teach our youth how to be responsible and respect others. As they grow, our children ultimately make their own decisions. However, those decisions are greatly impacted by how fervently we as fathers advocate positive values. The effectiveness of our words is magnified when we set a visual example. That part starts even before we become parents. There comes a moment in every man’s life when he must decide the manner of man which he will become. Do we stand for righteousness and respect, or do we give in to the evils of this world? If we choose the former outlook, then we must be willing to do what is right even when it is the more difficult choice. We must recognize the value of hard work, trust, dignity, humility, justice, leadership, integrity, knowledge and love. Then, as the builders of our legacy, we should stand on those values to make the world a little better by the time we leave it. We should attempt to positively influence everyone with whom we come into contact. No place should this be more evident than in our homes. The Bible indicates that the man is the head of the home, and he should teach positive values diligently unto his children. Likewise, society tends to view man as the head of the home, as demonstrated by IRS tax exemptions. It is clear that as men we are called to lead. The example that we set for our children can have far reaching consequences. Our example and guidance can change the prospects of an entire generation, and the cycle will continue through them. The more positive examples that today’s youth can see around them, the faster and more permanently they will opt to follow that path.

            People often speak of wanting their children to have a better life than they did. This usually refers to worldly possessions such as money, houses and cars. Why don’t we change that mentality to mean that we want our children to be better people than we deem ourselves. If we strive for this, then perhaps society will become exponentially better. Perhaps we can eventually eradicate the hatred that motivates actions such as the shooting in Aurora, CO. It all starts with us parents, particularly us fathers. We must stand up and lead our society to a moral disposition. We have the power to create positive change in the world.

            Thanks for reading. I promise that most of my future posts will not be this long or all over the place. May God bless you.

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Busy Dad of 3!

Hello everyone! My name is Caleb and I am the father of three beautiful, young children. I am not a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselor or other so-called expert on children or parenting. I don’t profess to be an expert in anything, especially parenting. However, I do have some experience and some education, which may enable me to help someone to become a better parent. Likewise, you may help me to be a better parent. I feel that parents have the power to shape the future of the world. Therefore, it is imperative that we do the best job that we possibly can. The current state of the world is that of rapid decay. It will take a generation of dedicated parents to stem this tide by teaching the next generation of adults to be responsible, morally upright, considerate and well-educated citizens. That is one of the major reasons that I started this blog. I hope to reach some of the fathers out there so we can work together to raise the upcoming generation of leaders.

I do have one disclaimer. I intend to speak my mind, so you may not agree with me at times. I just ask that you are respectful with your responses or simply agree to disagree. I have no intention of entering a cyber-fight. My goal is to raise the alarm for fathers to stand up and be the active, positive role models that their children need.

My wife inspired me to start this blog. She is a wonderful mother and loving wife who constantly amazes me. She has a blog that is directed toward mothers. The address is www.busymomof3.org. She is a very active blogger who discusses great topics for parents to consider. My blog is designed to be the male counterpart to her blog. I will share my adventures in parenting, lessons learned and thoughts related to parenting.

As I have alluded to, I am married and have 3 children. I work at least 2 jobs outside of the home. I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology with a minor in Philosophy. I am currently seeking a Master’s degree in a different field. Eventually, I hope to own my own business, or at least find a job that allows me the freedom to be home more while providing my family with a better life financially. Nonetheless, I do feel blessed to have my family, jobs and opportunities. I believe in God and will openly express my faith on my blog.

I hope that you find this blog helpful and/or entertaining. Thanks for stopping by, and have a blessed day.

~Caleb

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